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Feelings (Austin J.)

This slam poem was submitted by a poet named Austin J., hailing from Germany. This poem is provided as a written poetry piece, profoundly personal, deeply painful. Leave a comment to move this slam poem up in the rankings. Our poetry comment system is intended to facilitate feedback for our artists, and to promote creative communication. Make sure to leave a comment.

 --Slam Poems Editor

Today was a bad day.
I cried again.
Not that anyone would care.
I argued with them again, about something that's important to me.
Like always they don't understand and they don't care, or they just don't want to care.
It hurts.
It f***ing hurts.
Even my whole family not giving a single f*** about me.
My friends not giving a f*** about me.
Everyone not giving a f*** about me.
I just want to do my thing and leave, but I can't.
I'm stuck here.
With these fake ass people.
Why can't I just stop being a p***** and f***ing kill myself.
Then this f***ing problem would be solved.
Everyone would be happy.
Maybe not at the beginning, but after a little time they won't even remember me.
I'm hurting and nobody's noticing.
It hurts me even more that nobody sees it.
I don't have anyone to talk to.
I thought about calling the hotline today, but I didn't.
Maybe I should've.
Could anybody notice me please.
I think I need help.
But I'm too afraid to ask for it.
I'm too afraid to do anything.
F****ing p*****.
I just wanna disappear, please take me far away from here.
Am I even allowed to feel like this?
I don't know.
Maybe. Maybe not.
I mean I should be happy.
I have everything.
I have a place to live, food to eat, friends, hobbies, education, a family.
But all these things don't make me happy.
Is that bad?
Someone else would be happy to have all of that.
But no, I'm not happy.
Not at all.
I feel nothing.
Only pain and waves of sadness.
I feel invisible.
I feel unimportant.
I feel empty.
I feel unloved.
And I can't do anything about it.


  1. Austin J,
    First, YOU ARE IMPORTANT! The ability to express yourself in such a manner is a gift. The content saddens me, yet you are expressing your feelings. I can completely relate to your feelings.
    Ther was a time I felt the same way and it hurt. I suffer from depression but one day I said "I am worthy of life. I am intelligent, beautiful and I will no longer be used, disrespected, nor controlled by others. They don't have to love or like me. I am going to love myself. And soon, the right people will love me too."
    We can't control the family we are born into but we can control who we let into our lives. There are some beautiful people ot t here waiting to meet Austin J. Not to use or abuse you, but to love and like yujust the way you are. I'm waiting. I'm cheering Austin J!

    1. Thank you, so much. Your comment gave me hope. Hope for a brighter future. You gave me a reason to go on and all i can do is thank you.

  2. You have an ability to etch raw emotion onto the page. Not everyone can do that. This was obviously written in a time of great pain and distress. My prayers are with you, and I echo what was written above. We see you, and you matter. Feel free to check out one of my pieces, written in a time of great pain:

  3. I just wanted to thank you for writing this. Sometimes I feel the same and reading this poem made me feel like Im not alone.