One girl
Who’s seen through two lenses
Trying to hem them together as they deny one another
I look past
Through the viewfinder
Remind me, which one am I?
One girl Diverged paths And my mother? She swears in wrath because I walk two paths Opening the window to her soul I am no longer whole Pulling on a dress only to see a refreshed smile rest upon her grey laced face Putting on makeup to stop ranking up these stakes as you believe I’m not girl enough But I ask myself Why can’t I be enough when what I feel is real enough? And my eyes, they become bottomless pools of cobalt blue, bloodshot Like I should be shot, dead Because who I want to be? Isn’t who she wants to see And they say beauty, at heart, only matters on the outer part So I stand, apart One girl Khaki pants, beanie hat, sweatshirt, and all As one of the guys Yet my mother never buys it, only denies it Trying to revise my state of mind So that maybe Just maybe I won’t be so “guy” One girl Who’d rather watch basketball in sweats Than party in nothing but thin fishnets Not fake, caked in makeup Not a queen, laying out the beauty scene One girl With two lenses And instead of my focal point on one path I disjoint myself from each footpath As I hear my mother's words, a breaking chandelier Like blizzards of glass An indescribable pain As the camera no longer remains in frame It’s all in my head Red that’ll have me bled to death Like the Battle of Stalingrad The bloodbath of WW2 Because who I want to be? Isn’t who she wants to see One girl A tomboy As I once breathed life into this world Like a dragons breath Spreading like wildfire across the landscape of California And now, I fall apart An athlete who didn't accept defeat, but now I retreat A girl, mistaken for a guy, but that’s fine by me As long as I still have a heartbeat that’s complete Yet the lenses crash to the floor All in a flash Quicker than a camera's shutter I stand in utter silence Yet I would still be me, who I want to be Not who she wanted to see Even if what I lost, cost it all Like the mirrors hold ghosts that try and pull me in That girl in the mirror That, that is my only competition All remaining a reflection of my past No longer a connection that would last As the memories scattered with the pieces that once held them in place I still stand, alone One girl A tomboy -I.L.S
One girl Diverged paths And my mother? She swears in wrath because I walk two paths Opening the window to her soul I am no longer whole Pulling on a dress only to see a refreshed smile rest upon her grey laced face Putting on makeup to stop ranking up these stakes as you believe I’m not girl enough But I ask myself Why can’t I be enough when what I feel is real enough? And my eyes, they become bottomless pools of cobalt blue, bloodshot Like I should be shot, dead Because who I want to be? Isn’t who she wants to see And they say beauty, at heart, only matters on the outer part So I stand, apart One girl Khaki pants, beanie hat, sweatshirt, and all As one of the guys Yet my mother never buys it, only denies it Trying to revise my state of mind So that maybe Just maybe I won’t be so “guy” One girl Who’d rather watch basketball in sweats Than party in nothing but thin fishnets Not fake, caked in makeup Not a queen, laying out the beauty scene One girl With two lenses And instead of my focal point on one path I disjoint myself from each footpath As I hear my mother's words, a breaking chandelier Like blizzards of glass An indescribable pain As the camera no longer remains in frame It’s all in my head Red that’ll have me bled to death Like the Battle of Stalingrad The bloodbath of WW2 Because who I want to be? Isn’t who she wants to see One girl A tomboy As I once breathed life into this world Like a dragons breath Spreading like wildfire across the landscape of California And now, I fall apart An athlete who didn't accept defeat, but now I retreat A girl, mistaken for a guy, but that’s fine by me As long as I still have a heartbeat that’s complete Yet the lenses crash to the floor All in a flash Quicker than a camera's shutter I stand in utter silence Yet I would still be me, who I want to be Not who she wanted to see Even if what I lost, cost it all Like the mirrors hold ghosts that try and pull me in That girl in the mirror That, that is my only competition All remaining a reflection of my past No longer a connection that would last As the memories scattered with the pieces that once held them in place I still stand, alone One girl A tomboy -I.L.S
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