You know who you are
You know that you’re the one And I don’t mean the one in which I love I mean the 13 year old boy who took everything from me
My innocence, my confidence, and my hope Everyday when your hands would wander and your arms would push me against the wall I would pray to god to kill me now As I thought I just couldn’t take it anymore And the first time I poured the pills in my hand I thought of you I thought of the hell you’ve been putting me through Then one day I got the strength to end this misery And that one day you killed the last living part of me Telling me that I was nothing but a fat slut That I would never make anything of me You were right Because after that day I began starving myself Slowly taking my very existence away Every couple days I’d catch your eye And in those couple days there’d be a new girl Whose heart you could rip out and throw away Because you truly don’t care about anyone but yourself I told nobody about how you had made me your toy For days and days on end Diminishing my joy But even if I had It would have been my fault Because I let it go on And didn’t make it stop A couple months pass In those 90 days My young little mind has fallen into a state Where there are only two viable options for continuing to live Starving and pain Everyday I think of you But for all of the wrong ways Every time a little happiness comes Your face comes to mind and buries it into the ground By then you barely know I exist Then a couple years pass I’m 14 now If only you’d been forgotten In those 2.5 years nothing has changed Except that my weight has gone down and down Until I’m killing myself They tell me I need to stop But for once, you are what keeps me going You are what keeps me fading away Because as you said, I can’t make anything of myself And I believe that until I end up hospitalized With each day gallons more tears cried Still I keep the secrets inside Of the way your hands would trail up my thighs In those three months of hell Not one person I told Until I’m discharged and the story begins to unfold My therapist cried as I told her what occurred And my parents, I don’t think they could feel at all Slowly the fear began to creep back up Until everyday I could feel your touch But no longer will I let you win Because I hate you I hate what you did I hate what you said No longer will I live in fear It isn’t that painful year Look me in the face and tell me I’m wrong I hate to break it to you, but look at what I’ve become Everyone listening, do not be afraid Only one of you is the source of this very pain And I promise you this You know who you are
You know that you’re the one And I don’t mean the one in which I love I mean the 13 year old boy who took everything from me
My innocence, my confidence, and my hope Everyday when your hands would wander and your arms would push me against the wall I would pray to god to kill me now As I thought I just couldn’t take it anymore And the first time I poured the pills in my hand I thought of you I thought of the hell you’ve been putting me through Then one day I got the strength to end this misery And that one day you killed the last living part of me Telling me that I was nothing but a fat slut That I would never make anything of me You were right Because after that day I began starving myself Slowly taking my very existence away Every couple days I’d catch your eye And in those couple days there’d be a new girl Whose heart you could rip out and throw away Because you truly don’t care about anyone but yourself I told nobody about how you had made me your toy For days and days on end Diminishing my joy But even if I had It would have been my fault Because I let it go on And didn’t make it stop A couple months pass In those 90 days My young little mind has fallen into a state Where there are only two viable options for continuing to live Starving and pain Everyday I think of you But for all of the wrong ways Every time a little happiness comes Your face comes to mind and buries it into the ground By then you barely know I exist Then a couple years pass I’m 14 now If only you’d been forgotten In those 2.5 years nothing has changed Except that my weight has gone down and down Until I’m killing myself They tell me I need to stop But for once, you are what keeps me going You are what keeps me fading away Because as you said, I can’t make anything of myself And I believe that until I end up hospitalized With each day gallons more tears cried Still I keep the secrets inside Of the way your hands would trail up my thighs In those three months of hell Not one person I told Until I’m discharged and the story begins to unfold My therapist cried as I told her what occurred And my parents, I don’t think they could feel at all Slowly the fear began to creep back up Until everyday I could feel your touch But no longer will I let you win Because I hate you I hate what you did I hate what you said No longer will I live in fear It isn’t that painful year Look me in the face and tell me I’m wrong I hate to break it to you, but look at what I’ve become Everyone listening, do not be afraid Only one of you is the source of this very pain And I promise you this You know who you are
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